I apologize for such a delay in posting. It is my solemn vow to all ADHD PHD followers that I will try to post at least once a month and hopefully more. I was very caught up with this idea that I should be writing my dissertation instead and writing anything else. However, I have learned if I don't have an outlet for my other crazy thoughts and ideas outside of work and school, then I don't make much progress on my dissertation either.
Second, I have learned that I don't necessarily have to have every single freaking post about ADHD or my PHD, it can just be about the funny or interesting things I encounter on a daily basis.
Today, I just wanted to say an ode to caffeine, or sing an ode, or ode something to caffeine. I gave up caffeine, again, one week ago today. I am trying VERY hard to do this and stick with it and boy it is hard. Not all the time, but some days it just hits me more that I really relied on that buzz to keep me calm and focused. I noticed that is one of my coping skills with dealing with ADHD. I realize that all you ADHD band wagoners are going to yell "oh christina, we all love it, that buzz, that crazy focus i get from my morning cup of joe, its not just cuz you have ADHD". well here is news for you. Taking away my caffeine I have realized may be very similar to what you "normal" people experience, only a bit amplified. IT feels like I broke my leg and no one will give me my crutches back, and to top it off I can't even find the damn crutches because my mind is in 50 different directions. I think the key difference is for me caffeine is not a buzz, its a calming feeling like the world is simpler, its one task, its one idea. Now, without the coffee, diet-Pepsi, i am a jittery, fidgety, anxious mess.
Last Sunday was my first attempt at writing my dissertation without it and it took one hour to sit still and finally i made a little progress. It was pure torture. I have to say everything in moderation is a great thing and I know I could just break and have the damn cup of coffee, but I am really trying for my health to stick it out and do this. I know I'll come up with new mechanisms to cope and if it doesn't work out I'll go back to my cup a day just to start my day off right and focused.
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| My Izzy Enjoying her Cup of Calm |
Does anyone else handle coffee this way? or tried to give it up? Thanks for reading, if you even paid attention this long.
