I apologize for such a delay in posting. It is my solemn vow to all ADHD PHD followers that I will try to post at least once a month and hopefully more. I was very caught up with this idea that I should be writing my dissertation instead and writing anything else. However, I have learned if I don't have an outlet for my other crazy thoughts and ideas outside of work and school, then I don't make much progress on my dissertation either.
Second, I have learned that I don't necessarily have to have every single freaking post about ADHD or my PHD, it can just be about the funny or interesting things I encounter on a daily basis.
Today, I just wanted to say an ode to caffeine, or sing an ode, or ode something to caffeine. I gave up caffeine, again, one week ago today. I am trying VERY hard to do this and stick with it and boy it is hard. Not all the time, but some days it just hits me more that I really relied on that buzz to keep me calm and focused. I noticed that is one of my coping skills with dealing with ADHD. I realize that all you ADHD band wagoners are going to yell "oh christina, we all love it, that buzz, that crazy focus i get from my morning cup of joe, its not just cuz you have ADHD". well here is news for you. Taking away my caffeine I have realized may be very similar to what you "normal" people experience, only a bit amplified. IT feels like I broke my leg and no one will give me my crutches back, and to top it off I can't even find the damn crutches because my mind is in 50 different directions. I think the key difference is for me caffeine is not a buzz, its a calming feeling like the world is simpler, its one task, its one idea. Now, without the coffee, diet-Pepsi, i am a jittery, fidgety, anxious mess.
Last Sunday was my first attempt at writing my dissertation without it and it took one hour to sit still and finally i made a little progress. It was pure torture. I have to say everything in moderation is a great thing and I know I could just break and have the damn cup of coffee, but I am really trying for my health to stick it out and do this. I know I'll come up with new mechanisms to cope and if it doesn't work out I'll go back to my cup a day just to start my day off right and focused.
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| My Izzy Enjoying her Cup of Calm |
Does anyone else handle coffee this way? or tried to give it up? Thanks for reading, if you even paid attention this long.
Glad to see you are back! I try to limit my caffeine intake because it wreaks havoc on my stomach and amps up my already-high anxiety levels, but I think like any other "drug" it can take awhile to adjust to being "off" of it...so it may take awhile, my friend, before you feel a semblance of "normal" again. That being said, I think one caffeinated beverage a day is not a bad thing, and if that is your one indulgence, well, there are worse things! Moderation is key :)
ReplyDeleteI just started following your blog because I want to write (just one entry) about having ADHD and PhD and would like to read about other people's experiences. I graduated last year. I had a full-time job as a video game producer, was doing part-time industry organizational activities, and doing my dissertation... I think my ADHD almost killed me.
ReplyDeleteThing is, I had to remove coffee from my system because the stomach acids went crazy. I slowed down somewhat after that. I begged off from non-work related stuff...and as soon as I got my degree, I resigned from work. One thing the psychiatrist told us about ADHD was that if we find one thing we like doing, we actually tend to focus on that thing but have problems focusing on other responsibilities. I think that was true for my case, which was why I was the only one in my class who finished her dissertation within a year after passing the comprehensive exams. But everything else around me is like one giant mess. MESS.
Anyway, good luck! Tea helps, but it doesn't pack a punch as much as coffee does. It's kinder to your stomach, though.
@beatrice I agree totally about the caffeine punch and stomach issues. I had given up coffee for a year during my pregnancy and I felt wonderful except I was NOT productive with my dissertation at all. I'm now limiting myself to just one coffee per day especially if its a writing day. Other days I'm not allowing myself any other caffeinated beverages. I wish I loved tea the way others do, but I just can't get myself to like the taste. WOW, you finished your dissertation in a year. Right now everything is a mess for me including my dissertation, hoping it gets better soon. Its good to get feedback :) I've been thinking about starting to blog again.
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